


four bodies, one heart

by deducingontheroof



Series: sf18 bonus round fills [13]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, Fluff, Happy Ending, Insomnia, Light Angst, Loneliness, Multi, Non-Binary Demiboy Matsukawa, Non-binary Hanamaki, Trans Female Oikawa, Trans Male Iwaizumi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 16:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15146945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deducingontheroof/pseuds/deducingontheroof
Summary: Tooru’s used to being awake at three in the morning. Even in high school, she found herself unable to sleep for one reason or another.But even after years of insomnia, she’s still not used to the myriad of thoughts that accompany the liminal time too late to fall asleep and too early to be awake.Sighing softly, she pulls a knee to her chest and glares at her laptop screen. Hajime and Issei both fell asleep hours ago, and Takahiro hasn’t been online in a few days. Everyone’s been so busy, and they haven’t had the time to Skype for more than a week now.It’s been hard on her.





	four bodies, one heart

**Author's Note:**

> sf bonus round two - quotes
> 
> Ship/Character: Oikawa Tooru/Iwaizumi Hajima/Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei  
> Fandom: Haikyuu!!  
> Major Tags: None  
> Additional Tags: trans characters are encouraged if u want!  
> Do Not Wants: abo
> 
> Prompt: 
> 
> Happiness is just an illusion, filled with sadness and confusion.
> 
> \-- Steve Harley

Tooru’s used to being awake at three in the morning. Even in high school, she found herself unable to sleep for one reason or another. 

  
  
But even after years of insomnia, she’s still not used to the myriad of thoughts that accompany the liminal time too late to fall asleep and too early to be awake.

  
  
Sighing softly, she pulls a knee to her chest and glares at her laptop screen. Hajime and Issei both fell asleep hours ago, and Takahiro hasn’t been online in a few days. Everyone’s been so busy, and they haven’t had the time to Skype for more than a week now.

  
  
It’s been hard on her. 

  
  
She didn’t realize just how much she relied on her partners until they were separated. She didn’t realize it, until Hajime and Issei went to Osaka for university, and Takahiro moved to America to pursue their love for fashion.

  
  
Everyone’s moved on, pursuing their careers and their futures, and Tooru’s been left behind in Miyagi.

  
  
She has nothing to pursue. After her knee finally gave out on her, she’s been empty. Her passion’s been stolen from her, and now she has nothing. She’s empty. She has no purpose anymore, and she can’t bring herself to do anything more than mope around her empty apartment.

  
Her laptop pings, and she manages a smile. Hajime’s just gone online.

  
  
**> bugboi:** why the fuck are you still awake

  
  
**> tooru.believe:** i cant sleep iwachan (｡•́︿•̀｡)

  
  
**> bugboi:** are you taking care of yourself, moron?

  
  
**> bugboi:** your mental health is important

  
  
**> tooru.believe:** of course!!! dont worry about me, iwachan! you have studying to do if you dont wanna fail~

  
  
**> bugboi:** of course im gonna worry shittykawa

  
  
**> bugboi:** and ur more important than studying i care about you

  
  
**> tooru.believe:** aww thats so sappy (⌒ω⌒)

  
  
**> tooru.believe:** i love you

  
  
**> tooru.believe:** can we call?

  
  
**> bugboi:** sorry tooru, i cant

  
  
**> bugboi:** later, ok?

  
  
**> tooru.believe:** of course, iwachan!!

  
  
Tooru feels a tear slide down her cheek, and she brings a hand to her face. Why is she crying? She knows that Hajime’s just busy, and it  _is_  three in the morning. Of course he can’t call right now.

  
  
Despite knowing that, she’s crying. She can’t explain why, but she’s crying.

  
  
That’s been happening more and more recently.

  
  
Huffing in frustration, she slams her laptop closed and tosses her glasses onto the desk, leaning back and pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes. 

  
  
She’s happy.

  
  
She tells herself that more than she tells Hajime or Issei or Takahiro. They believe her, and it’s the truth.

  
  
But she can’t believe it herself.

  
  
She lets out an ugly sob at that, suddenly glad she’d been wearing glasses and not contacts.

  
  
“How annoying,” she hiccups, fed up with herself. How pathetic and needy is she, to cry like a baby over one declined call?

  
  
But it’s not one call. It’s the slow transition from a call every day to four times a week to weekends only to whenever they have time. It’s the distance between hearts, which seems to grow more and more every day.

  
  
She was stupid, to think long distance would ever work. Hajime and Issei are happy, together in Tokyo. Takahiro’s happy, living their dream in America. Tooru’s the only one who’s unhappy, and she’s done it to herself.

  
  
She freezes as she hears a sharp knock on the front door.

  
  
“Who the hell,” she mutters to herself, getting up off the chair and wiping her eyes with her sleeve as she approaches the door.

  
  
“Do you know what time—”

  
  
The complaint dies in her throat as she opens the door to see her partners standing there. Hajime’s got his hands idly in his pockets, Issei’s yawning, and Takahiro’s got a fond smirk on their face.

  
  
“Hey, sweetheart,” Takahiro greets lazily, and Tooru shrieks, forgetting about the time and her neighbours and everything that isn’t her lovers in front of her.

  
  
“What are you doing here?!” she demands ecstatically, throwing herself into Hajime’s arms. Takahiro hugs her from the side, kissing her cheek, and she feels Issei’s long arms wrap around all three of them.

  
  
“We missed you,” Takahiro tells simply, and she can hear the grin on their face.

  
  
“Don’t get snot on my sweater, trash,” Hajime grumbles, but doesn’t try to push her away. “Why the hell are you crying?”

  
  
“I’m not crying,” she denies, but her eyes are probably puffy, and her cheeks are sticky with salty tears.

  
  
“Are you gonna let us in, babe?” Issei drawls teasingly, “These two need to take off their binders before I kick both of their asses.”

  
  
“You could try,” Hajime fires back, and Tooru giggles.

  
  
“Don’t worry, Iwa-chan, no one could kick your ass,” she reassures, reluctantly stepping back from the hug to let her partners into the apartment. “Now, go. Binders off, and don’t forget to stretch.

  
  
“Yes, mother,” Takahiro teases as they grab Hajime’s bicep and start dragging him towards the bedroom. “Don’t have too much fun without us!”

  
  
Tooru laughs again. Issei sprawls out on the couch, and she flops down on top of faer.

  
  
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she says, grinning down at faer and planting a wet kiss on faer forehead.

  
  
“Yeah, me too,” fae says fondly, “I’ve missed you, Tooru. Hajime’s great, but he smells.”

  
  
“Who smells?” Hajime asks warningly, choosing that moment to reappear with Takahiro, and Issei pales.

  
  
“You smell, uhh, fantastic, babe!” fae says quickly, and Takahiro snickers.

  
  
“Nah, Hajime smells like sweat,” they snipe, moving out of range as Hajime tries to smack them. “Like, seriously, do your laundry more often. I love you, but you’re nasty.”

  
  
“I will hit you,” Hajime threatens, sitting down next to Tooru and Issei. Takahiro flops down beside him, snuggling into his shoulder.

  
  
“You love me,” Takahiro insists, and Hajime ruffles their hair.

  
  
“Course I do.” He meets Tooru’s eyes, crossing his arms sternly. “Now. Tooru. Why were you crying?”

  
  
“I wasn’t?” Tooru tries to deny, but Hajime’s fierce gaze makes him wince. “Okay, I was. I dunno… I’ve been crying for no reason a lot lately.”

  
  
“Have you talked to your therapist?” Issei asks, faer eyes widening in concern. 

  
  
“No,” Tooru admits, looking at the ground. “She makes me feel bad about loving you all. She thinks that it’s wrong, that we’re all together.”

 

“Fuck her, then,” Takahiro declares angrily, “Talk to us instead.”

  
  
“You’re all busy, though. I don’t wanna bother you with my problems,” she admits, and Hajime flicks her forehead. 

  
  
“Are you stupid?!” he exclaims, “Your problems are important, dumbass. You don’t bother us, what the fuck.”

  
  
“Don’t be so harsh, Haji,” Takahiro protests, “But yeah. Don’t be dumb. Talk to us, sweetheart. We love you, and we’re here for you.”

  
  
Tooru bursts into tears again, but it’s different this time. These tears are happy, contrasting the heavy, lonely tears from earlier. She sniffles, grinning at all three of her lovers.

  
  
“Thank you.”

  
  
She loves them, and they love her, and that’s all she needs. 

  
  
She’s happy. And it might just be for the moment, and it might be an illusion. It might just be a temporary shroud for her loneliness, but it doesn’t matter.

  
  
All that matters is a grin, and a kiss, and four hearts together as one.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://charlie-albus.tumblr.com) | [dreamwidth](https://deducingontheroof.dreamwidth.org)


End file.
